Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Book Review: Thanks, That Was Fun by Andy Nash

Jordan Lockhart is 30, oversexed, underemployed, and screwed up. When her boyfriend falls for his bisexual neighbor, Jordan decides to give up on love once and for all. Then, she meets Louis. Barely 20, sweetly naive and impossibly gorgeous, Louis is a gift from the gods. When he announces his intention to move to the Alaskan wilderness, Jordan hatches a desperate, hilarious plan to make him stay.

Thanks that Was Fun is a story about a woman on a serious bender of drugs, sex and toxic relationships. Meet Jordan Lockhart – an artist nearing thirty with a life that appears to be as sexually dysfunctional as Samantha Jones in an episode of Sex in the City. After a hilarious introduction to Jordan’s sexual prowess, we soon discover that she is a woman just looking for Mr Right. What Jordan is craving is just for someone to love – someone to love her in return even with all her faults, and we have the opportunity to follow her on this sometimes messy, sometimes hilarious and sometimes sad journey.

Along with her friends, Iris and Genna, Jordon tries to make sense of her seemingly stagnant life. When a chance meeting with her ex-boyfriend Mark leads them to rekindle what they’d once had, Jordan desperately want their relationship to work out this time around, but she is bitterly disappointed by Mark’s seemingly wandering gaze to his bisexual and all-too-perky neighbor.

Enter Louis – a sweet-as-pie, good Catholic boy who turns Jordan’s life upside down. The complete opposite to her in every possible way imaginable, she decides to pursue him, hoping to change his mind about his beliefs so that she can finally get her way and get him into bed.
However no matter how hard she tries, Jordan is just never going to be able to get what she truly wants.

I really enjoyed this book from the witty dialogue to the crazy situations Jordan finds herself in. The style of writing flows really well, which means that I read the book in a couple of sittings. The plot is succinct – not getting bogged down in events that don’t add to the plot as other books can.  Nash obviously has a great sense of humor, and this is reflected in her characters and their sometimes cringe-worthy antics.

But the more I read about Jordon’s existence as an oversexed and generally neurotic woman, the more I felt sorry for her. This woman is really screwed up. Her addictive personality doesn’t help her in the slightest. She’s desperately seeking the man that will stick around, and this desperate need could possibly be linked to the fact that she lost her father at such a young age.
Her relationship with Louis was really doomed from the start. They were both looking for something completely different from each other, and no matter how many times they fought and made up, it was never going to work. Jordan was doing what all women do to the men in their lives – even if they don’t realize they’re doing it – they try to change them, try to mould them into something that fits their needs and lives rather than just accepting them the way that they are.

I found Jordan to be quite selfish in a lot of ways. Despite Louis constantly telling her that sex will never be a possibility between them, Jordan’s selfish need to get laid means that she’s willing to compromise Louis’ believes.

“What you’re saying is I should live according to your beliefs. I live by my beliefs. I follow my heart.” ~ Louis

Although I can’t exactly say that it’s all Jordan’s fault. Louis is also to blame in this little pseudo-relationship they’ve found themselves in. He would say things to her, and touch her in ways that made her think he wanted her. These mixed signals drive Jordan crazy. She is a real glutton for punishment though; instead of just leaving things well alone when they fall to pieces, she picks and pokes the wound again until it bleeds.

All the different characters added to the storyline, deepening it and making it believable and realistic. I’m sure we all have some friends/people in our lives like these – the couple that always fights, the flake, the highly successful, highly driven friend and then there are those that want nothing more than to sit around and get stoned.
Nash has done a really good job with writing Thanks That Was Fun. It was a really enjoyable read, and it was also refreshing to find out that it wasn’t just about finding love; rather it was about finding out who you really are. I hope that Jordan will get her happily-ever-after, but I believe it will take a strong man in her life for that to happen.

Friday, March 11, 2016

A peek into Half Blood before it became the version it is today

I've been looking through some old versions of Half Blood recently and came across this prologue, which never made it into the book. It's a little strange to look back on something I'd written so long ago (2011), but nonetheless, I thought I'd share it with you. 

It was written in the first person (something I hate!) and it's Indi who's speaking.



Life is not a fairy tale. There is never a prince waiting to rescue me from danger. There is never a spell that breaks revealing everything as a dream. There are the first breaths of life where your dignity is left open for all to view as your naked body is torn from your mother’s womb. And there are the last shuddering breaths of death, where you are left alone and dying, hoping that someone gave a damn enough to hold your hand, and tell you that it is alright to be scared. 
And that shade of grey in between? Well, that is life, real life. Or maybe it is just surviving…yeah surviving is probably a better word for it.

In life, some people are dealt good hands, others are not. You can’t fold on your life, unless you wish to embrace death early. Sometimes though, you aren’t dealt a good or a bad hand. Sometimes you’re dealt the jokers and told to deal with it. 

That is my life.

In a world where fairy tales are supposed to be just that, tales, I am left wondering who in the hell had lied to me. Who had told me that there was no such thing as the monster under the bed, or the evil step-mother who would rather see you dead than alive? Whoever said that there is no such thing as creatures that go bump in the night are god-damned liars.

I’m going to give you the advice that I was never given...

Deal with it.

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Half Blood: Prologue


James Vincent’s earliest memory of his mother was ripply—distorted as though looking through warped glass. He could see her standing above him, looking at him—not with love in her eyes like a mother should, but rather with malice. Her anger towards him was as palpable as the hand holding down his small body. His arms and legs were flailing around aimlessly, looking for purchase, but finding none. 

Then he was able to breathe again. When the water cleared from his eyes, James found his father holding his mother away from the bath tub. They were screaming at each other, but James couldn’t make out the words over the chattering of his teeth. His father’s strong arms were suddenly around him then, lifting him out of the icy water and holding him close to his warm chest. 

He was placed on the bed, blankets around him, watching his father pack a big suitcase for himself and a small one for James filled with his toys. James didn’t understand what was happening at the time, but he understood his mother’s look of smug triumph when his father carried him out the door that same night. 

When James was ten, his father died in a car accident leaving him no choice but to go back to his mother. By that time though, his mother was no longer the secretary for a failing tire store, but a hooker turning tricks to make ends meet. 

The shame of selling her body broke his mother. Her desperation to cleanse her soul and her body came in the form of a whiskey bottle. After she doused the fire of regret from her body, she took to beating James—cracking multiple ribs at a time, opening up new cuts that spilled crimson tears down his cheeks, or breaking his fingers during her many alcohol-fueled rages. 

When James was twelve, his mother dragged him to the seediest bar in the next town over to sell her body to anyone willing. She’d brought James along because he’d started running away from her whenever she left the house. The evening was slow. She’d only managed a few blow jobs in the bathroom, but she had earned enough cash for a cheap bottle of whiskey. When she’d finished that bottle, she needed another. Desperation drove her to sell James to a complete stranger for another opportunity to get numb.

James managed to escape and a few days later, the police found James wandering the streets, looking through garbage bins for food scraps. He was returned to his mother, not telling the police the real reason he was out on the streets. His mother punished him for “running away” from her in the only way she knew. This was the first time she sexually abused him, tying him to the bed, forcing him into arousal then telling him he was a disgusting boy for enjoying it. 

For years, the vicious cycle was perpetuated by liquor and self-loathing until James was old enough to fight her off and defend himself. At the age of seventeen, James came home to find his mother passed out on the couch in front of the TV with a pool of vomit on the floor next to her. She’d spent the entire day drinking again. Disgusted with the sight of her, he went to his bedroom wishing he could have unseen what he’d seen, but there was always that pull to still help her when she drank herself into a stupor.

When he went back through to the kitchen, he heard gagging coming from the living room. He stood in the doorway and watched his mother choke on her own vomit—her eyes bulging and desperate, her air supply running out quickly. The low, desperate noises she was making down in the back of her throat called to him. Against everything that roared through his body to just leave her there, he stepped into the room. Her wide eyes darted to him, begging him to help her. James felt himself being torn in two, like the very fabric he’d been cut from was violently ripping in half. With a shudder, he refocused on his mother. He took a step forward, one part of him wanting to help her—she was his mother after all—but then there was another part of him, this darker, hidden part that wanted her to suffer every cruelty she had ever inflicted on him. 

 His mother died on their sofa, surrounded by cooling vomit––her son watching on with a cruel smile twisting his lips. 


A battle for werewolf territory
and rights has Rhett fighting for his life and for the survival of the pack. The last Half Blood --a half human, half vampire hybrid--has been found and Rhett has been chosen as her unlikely Guardian. The pack's survival hangs on her completing her transformation, but a Sicarii--a vampire assassin--is hunting her to ensure that never happens...


Indigo's hard exterior is nothing compared to the dark secret she carries within her. Her haunted eyes alone tell of her struggle and desire to live. But what she doesn't know is that she is hard-wired for survival; the very blood in her veins and the legacy of her father demands it. But when her life takes a violent turn, her heritage and her fate may be the very thing to get her killed...

If you love vampires, werewolves and a bit of intrigue, "Half Blood" is the book for you!

Genre: Urban Fantasy
Length: 230 pages
Price: $2.99